How To Wash A Cat

How To Wash A Cat – The Easy Way.

1. Raise both the lid and seat of the toilet and add ⅛ cup of pet shampoo to the water in the toilet bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and carry him into the bathroom while making soothing sounds to keep him calm.

3. In one smooth move, put the cat into the toilet and close the lid. You will likely need to sit on the lid to keep it closed.How To Wash A Cat

4. At this point the cat will self-agitate, making ample suds. Ignore any noises that come from the toilet, the cat loves this. Let this shampoo stage continue for several minutes – add more time if your cat is extra dirty.

5. Now flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides both a “power wash” and rinse.

6. Have someone, I suggest a child (*see note below) and have them open your cat’s favorite door. Insure there are no people between the bathroom door and the door you have chosen.

7. Stand well back, behind the toilet if possible, and quickly lift the toilet lid.

8. Your cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the house and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Have your accomplice er helper capture the cat who will now be completely relaxed.

Both your toilet and cat will now be sparkling clean.

Yours Sincerely,

The Dog

*Note – If you don’t happen to have a child handy you can usually lure coax one into your house with the offer of candy or in some cases, cash. You don’t actually need any candy or cash but offering some may prevent any future ill will.

Disclaimer – I neither own or want a cat. Your use of these instructions could result in serious injury to humans, cats, bathroom, homes, furnishing and anything else I may not have mentioned. Some suggestions may be illegal or at a minimum ill advised. Seriously, don’t do this and if you do, don’t sue me. Seriously why do you even want to wash a cat, just throw the dirty cat away and kidnap buy or adopt a new cat.

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