Hypnotist At The Senior Center
It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Center.
Claude the hypnotist explained: “I’m here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotise each and every member of the audience…
Category Archives: Jokes
An Elderly Golfer Walks Into The Clubhouse
An elderly golfer has a great round out on the links at a new course and decides to treat himself to something from the clubhouse bar.
Talking Clock
After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
Don’t Touch Me Jesus!
A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, “Is that Jesus sitting over there?
Obama Tattoo?
A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by a U.S. Customs Agent at the border.
The Harley Davidson Disease
A young woman goes to her doctor’s office, afraid of the strange development on the inside of her thighs .. . . a green spot on the inside of each.
Blondes Hunt For The Perfect Christmas Tree
Two blondes decided that this Christmas they wanted to cut down their own Christmas tree. So they drove two hours into the country and walked deep into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree.
They had planned the trip well, especially considering that they were blonde.
They were dressed warmly with boots, warm coats and hats. They had a chain saw, hatchet, a bag to protect the tree and rope to drag it back to their car. Every detail was covered.
Banned From Walmart
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like many women – she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart: