A young woman goes to her doctor’s office, afraid of the strange development on the inside of her thighs .. . . a green spot on the inside of each.
Two blondes decided that this Christmas they wanted to cut down their own Christmas tree. So they drove two hours into the country and walked deep into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree.
They had planned the trip well, especially considering that they were blonde.
They were dressed warmly with boots, warm coats and hats. They had a chain saw, hatchet, a bag to protect the tree and rope to drag it back to their car. Every detail was covered.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like many women – she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart:
A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Dave to leave 25 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. Dave thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point…
So this cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring. He replies: ‘I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.’
She answers, ‘ My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.’
Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are young and in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny’s father to ask him for her hand.
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah Night Before Last
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
A Harley rider walked into a drug store in Waco, Texas and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.
The woman he was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no males employed there.
She then asked if she could help him. The biker said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.
The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional, and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with thehighest level of professionalism. The biker then agreed and began by saying,’This is tough for me to discuss, but I have had a constant erection since I was a 12-year-old boy. It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it.’