10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.

9. I Ain’t Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman; But I Woke Up With A Few.

8. If The Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me.

7. I’ve Missed You, But My Aim’s Improvin’.

6. Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dogfight ‘Cause I’m Scared She’d Win.

5. I’m So Miserable Without You , It’s Like You’re Still Here.

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him.

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.

2. She’s Lookin’ Better with Every Beer.

And the number one Country & Western song is…

1. It’s Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day.

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