A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Dave to leave 25 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. Dave thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point…
Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are young and in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny’s father to ask him for her hand.
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah Night Before Last
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
A Harley rider walked into a drug store in Waco, Texas and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.
The woman he was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no males employed there.
She then asked if she could help him. The biker said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.
The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional, and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with thehighest level of professionalism. The biker then agreed and began by saying,’This is tough for me to discuss, but I have had a constant erection since I was a 12-year-old boy. It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it.’
A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, ‘Hey Koala! What are you doing?’
Advertisement: A tool used by business to get money out of people that don’t have it, for something that they don’t need.
Alimony: Two person mistake paid by one.
Auditor: Person that arrives after battle to finish off the wounded.
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation. “He’s a funeral director,” she answered.
“Interesting,” the newsman thought.